Sexy Polish HU Millionaire, HU NL100-nl1k

    • I really did fucked up today. I don't remember when I felt ashamed like 5 min after the rage quit session. At most I was angry and in rage but today I am ashamed. I had rough run, slept 4hours today and I did fucked up at the tables. Many BI were spewed. Didn't felt like but since yesterday I got beaten a bit and today something broke. Maybe it's because I lost 600 euro at nl100 and maybe because I am weak. The main takeaway is do not 4 table with different people when you slept 4hours, let them have table for a while than kill them, otherwise you end up with hole in your brand new desk and shame after a session.
    • @yamiyami
      Well I did it plenty times. Lack of sleep, never was a huge issue for me. At least I swear more or scream or punch something but I keep controling myself at the tables. It will be better next week, that's for sure!

      Since Last Thursday / Tuesday I wake up at tilt level of 8/10. I do not have to do anything, just wake up and be tilted. I increased sleep quantity from 5.5h to like 8.5-9h. It's okey, my body is dealing with it and recovery from it. Still it's not hard for me to trigger rage. Just 2 points more and I am allready at 10/10, the point where I start to losing control. Was forcing myself to work, but couldn't work so well. Every time I sat at work internet was dropping off, you turn on tables, than internet goes down for 5 min, than you turn tables on and it happens again. Lost plenty of BIs lately. I guess due to variance, hard to tell sometimes because it's like brain shut off from those emotional arousal. Weird thing that working at Christmas was always like that for me. When I've stacked of KK vs AK I knew what is going to happen. I've faced plenty of crying folds that I did and I am happy about it. Some hands you are just happen to lose no matter what, ain't gonna fold KK preflop ever.

      It's not like I need to rest. I need to regenerate. Fortunately I am starting to take control overmyself and do right folds, even hard ones. It's like when you face 5th river raise in 200 hands it's hard to fold, but when runout happens to complete everything, what else you can do with two pairs other than bet/fold... I don't remember when I was soo thrilled about Christmas or any other holidays, yet not supper happy about the reason why I am soo thrilled. Was up with my work and 100 days challenge for the first time I guess, anyway it's all gone since the weird mode thing happen. Anyway I am up for whatever challenge I have to go through in followings weeks. As I supposed there is something I do not know yet, something that has it's own reasons, something new I need to learn.
    • I am not worried about it. It's pure nature. Stuff like that happens all the time, at least in my life. I did rest a lot and had a great time. I still do tilt, spew and play badly BUT even 50% of my hourly. If my graph will look worse than currently in case for earning money, let it be, wasted too much money in the past for trivial mindset reasons, like taking care more about hourly than how much money I have + my lifestyle.
    • Not sure am I going to play tomorrow. Today definitely not. This month was the worst performance I've had this year, maybe even worst month in whole poker carrier. I am working on something, that is very demanding, high risk but can make a huge, huge return over the following years. I hate how it makes me feel, I hate that I am very weak and vulnerable but well I made a decision I am going to do it so I am sticking to it. The worst case scenario is that I lose two months, money at the tables and nothing will improve, the best are that my goals are going to be matched. Anyway it's worth it.

      I can't even describe how badly I let circumstances make me play bad. This month I was calling a lot of River raise. To be honest yeah I had way more tigers. Last month I've played 22602 hands, this month I've played 22071 hands and this month I've faced 220% raises to River Cbet compared to last month and 137% more raises to Probe Bets I don't know other stats because I've realized how much time I'd lose trying to prove my point when there is someone else to blame than variance, those people are: me, myself & I. I was responsible for losing control after Fish hit and run 1nlk. (It was sick btw, I sit at the tables and play 20-40 hands with nl1k regs who are willing to play other regs at nl1k (for now those players are few levels higher than me) for sake of waiting for fish. Didn't have any fish action at those limits for 4 months. Last week had 3 guys, ALL OF THEM hit and run after winning big pot after I got cooler. So you think right approach is to play more solid against other people, I've made the other decision and I let take over my emotions and spew at nl600 and nl400. This month I've spew like 2k euro I guess.

      Anyway need to refocus on work, can't let myself blah blah too much so quick summary. Fucked up this month. Spewed a lot. Let myself being controlled by other circumstances. Need to get over it and work from there. GL in following year!
    • Are 100$ a lot or small?
      1) Go and ask guy who has -100 000$ to mobs and 0 on his balance
      2) Go and ask homless guy
      3) Go and ask Branson

      Is 1k$ a lot or small?
      1) Go ask a guy with 1 000 000 on his balance
      2) Go ask Branson
      3) Go ask homless

      All I am saying, the more money you have the more time is important and otherwise
      Guy with 1kk won't bother about playing nl50 so putting limits on yourself when you are not there yet doesn't serve any purpouse

      Btw if there is any native English here. How I should write those questions about money, not sure about is or are
    • ilidek wrote:

      All I am saying, the more money you have the more time is important and otherwise
      Guy with 1kk won't bother about playing nl50 so putting limits on yourself when you are not there yet doesn't serve any purpouse
      True, but I also know some guys who have the roll to play much higher but still can't handle the bigger buy-ins. I mean there is a difference in putting $100 in the middle or $1.000. Sure, it shouldn't matter with a big enough bankroll, but it still does.
    • @looool

      I am that guy. I play overrooled because I need to feel more comfortable with money. I don't feel playing comfortable nl1k because it's not my limit. I can play normally with regs at nl200 because I beat most of most of them. I can play at nl400-nl600 with regs as a challenge but on nl1k I feel very uncomfortable, it's different sort of players, even if my BR let me play there. YET IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BI!!! IT'S ALL ABOUT EDGE. They don't have edge to play those stackes in the first place. BR doesn't change anything.

      Have fun hand:

      Rage quit today. Certainly not because of this hand, it was first session while 2nd one was insane. After working some on game I felt the fire and went back to grind some more. In 25 min managed to lose 4BI so I call it for today. Overall very happy about today.
    • lieschenmüller wrote:

      ilidek wrote:

      They don't have edge to play those stackes in the first place. BR doesn't change anything.
      I guess, I am one of those guys too. :( Could never do it, even with a big enough bankroll.
      You can learn that, I guess. You just have to try and at some point you will get better at it. Don't want to hijack this thread, but what limits are you playing @lieschenmüller ?
    • @looool

      No worries I don't mind conversations at this blog ;)

      Well it was awesome week when it comes to girnd. I did a solid 38h 20min of grind. I know it's not a lot compared to many people but for me it's personal success. As mucha as whole January so far (And I am commited to keep it that way). Three days ago I almost cried during the session, guy came, crushed me, I was losing to him like 4-5 BI in 100 hands, he joined me two times, became my nemesiss a bit, untill it became SIMPLE! I made two extremelly simple adjustments and his whole gameplan was fucked, started to gaining those money back but he decided that he won't give me action anymore. Happens, it's not often happen that I feel soo powerless that I feel crying. Anyway what is past is past.

      It's time for me to gain strength. To go as hard as last week and even better. So far it's lame start, only 6h 40min of work this week but I am commited to make it better. What is funny that guy made me feel bad and hand like that didn't bother me, even though it happend some time after him:

      Anyway I am grinding too low, for not enough hours, with not enough skill but I am commited to change those stuff. Gl at the tables.